Conversations, by nature, involve other people. And practicing these conversations with others is a very important way to improve your skills. But what if you don’t have a partner to practice with? Here are some strategies you can use:
- Retail therapy. When you go shopping, strike up a short, friendly conversation with the person checking out your purchases. Of course, don’t monopolize their time, and be sensitive to whether they want to engage in conversation or not. But practicing a few pleasant words with the person on the other side of the counter can be good practice for you, and brighten the other person’s day.
- Conversations in the chair. Most of us visit barbers or hair stylists on a regular basis, and – sadly – sometimes have to do things like see the dentist as well. You can leverage these opportunities to talk with people while you are in the chair. (I often tell hair stylists that we share the same profession – being therapists for people – except that they do their job standing up.)
- Media practice. Videos on social media or YouTube are often full of conversations. You can listen to them, pause the video, and think of how you might respond to what was just said. This gives you the advantage of getting to stop and think about your answer, versus an actual conversation – and as a bonus, you get to compare your responses to the ones that follow in the video.
- Pencil and paper. There is no reason that you can’t script a conversation on paper, and use this technique to workshop things you might say in real life. An important part of making small talk with people is having good conversation topics and prepared questions in your back pocket, and drafting these in advance on paper or on your computer is a good way to practice these. Plus, you have the added advantage of getting to edit your responses until they sound great.
Of course, having a conversation partner is great if you have someone to practice with – some of the exercises in my book Stress-Free Small Talk involve live practice with another person, but many of them are “offline” as well. Either way, there are many ways you can practice being more skilled and confident in speaking with other people.