It is always a good idea to have three to five “conversation starters” planned before heading to an event. These should be based on the type of event, people who will be there, the location, and other factors. Examples include:
The Good:
-Common shared business interests. For example, if you are at a convention of lumberjacks, it is probably appropriate to ask about someone’s connection to logging.
-Their interests. How is their band going? Or their new boat? Or the Little League team they coach? If you know someone’s interests–or can find out–this is a perpetual favorite.
-Learning about the other person. Do they come here often? What is their favorite sports team? What is their connection with this gathering? People love to talk about themselves.
The Bad:
-The weather. B-o-r-i-n-g. When was the last time you were ever interested in a discussion about the weather? Small exceptions to this might be granted if, say, you have both just traveled through three feet of snow to get to the meeting.
-Relationships. Have you ever asked someone how their wife is, only to discover that she is now his ex? Or asked about their kid, to find out that Junior just got arrested again? Relationships are OK for small talk if you know someone really well, otherwise a better way to learn about them is to stick with a simple “How have you been lately?”
The Ugly:
-Politics. More friends have been lost over political differences than just about any other topic, particularly in today’s polarized environment. Also, your chances of influencing someone else’s political views are somewhere between slim and none.
-Religion: Similar logic applies here. Unless you are at a religious meeting or convention–and sometimes even then–you normally should know someone quite well before it is safe to discuss their spiritual beliefs or lack thereof.
-Any kind of criticism. There is always the risk that you are criticizing something or someone the other person has a connection with, and it is almost always boorish in small talk. Small exceptions can be made for things that are universally disliked, such as traffic jams.